FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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