you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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