I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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