Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
