he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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