I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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