I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
