How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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