the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
