Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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