No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
