I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
