So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
