Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
