i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
