SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
