Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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