Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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