ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
