Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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