so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
