Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize
