Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
