is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
