I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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