I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
nutella sex= disaster
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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