Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
