U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
