so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
