margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
