Christians are straight up FREAKS
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize