Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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