Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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