her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
