you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
