Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I love having hate sex.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
