meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
