can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
