dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
