can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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