Acid is not a monday night drug
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
