Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
