I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
