They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
