He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
