Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
