Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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