I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
