I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
