Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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