I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My liver just broke up with me...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
