so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
